Doomsday Special 2

Nebiru (Planet X): Pole Shift and the End of the World?



What is Nebiru?

Breakthrough in LASIK Therapy!

LASIK

I'm sick of patients asking me if they should go for LASIK. More often that not, I'll reply with a non-chalant, "No.".... Why not? They ask.. Well with all surgeries, come the very real risk of permanent.. (YES, IRREVERSIBLE) eye damage. LASIK complications have been well documented*.

What is LASIK?

Laser -Assisted in situ Keratomileusis (LASIK) is a type of refractive laser surgery to correct your vision to a reasonably good standard (not necessarily 6/6 aka 20/20). Patients who go in with the lowest expectations (i.e. As long as vision is better than without spects), achieve the most satisfaction.

In a Nutshell:

The procedure involves cutting a thin flap of cornea (the front most part of the eye) using a microkeratome (a small blade) or 'bladeless' (using lasers). The flap is lifted and the excimer lasers are used to obliterate a certain thickness of the central cornea. YES, you are awake the whole time! It makes your money really worth it.. you can appreciate the full experience of it... listening to the wondrous melody of the Lasers working on your eye.. while smelling wisps of your burnt cornea in the air. ..Thickness goes down, so does your ocular refractive power and viola! You can see better (I stress again not necessarily as well as with your spects /contact lenses on) now.

Potential Problems:

Having something seriously go wrong during LASIK is rare.. 1%? But Other proven problems include:

(Adapted from Wikipedia.Org: Click here to learn more)
Surgery induced dry eyes (this is bad, I have px coming in and spending $15 a week on Tear Supps - for life), probably because they've blasted away lots of corneal nerves, decreasing tears secretion.
Overcorrection or undercorrection (rare, due to minimal scarring, healing)
Halos or starbursts around light sources at night (Very common )
Light sensitivity (common)
Debris or growth under flap (rarer.. but it may happen)
Epithelium erosion (related to corneal health issues - may happen)
(Adapted from Wikipedia.Org: Click here to learn more)

Noticed that I EXCLUDED things that could go horribly wrong and damage your eyes permanently; this is to give you an idea of things you'll be living with if you do go for LASIK. Doesn't really matter though, most patients (92%-98%) surveyed are extremely pleased with LASIK results (regardles of permanently poorer vision and contrast sensitivity or haloes or dry eyes etc..)

So do I go for LASIK?... NO.

If I really REALLY wanna??? Go:

1. If your power is between +3.00D to -5.50D

2. If you're young (21-35* yr old) *Why do LASIK at 35 if you're gonna need reading glasses in 5 years time? The surgeon probably will do a compromise by giving you 'mono vision', allowing you to delay readers for another few years... giving you permanent Anisometropia (large diff in power between eyes... how are u gonna get spects for reading when that happens huh..)

3. If you're older...50 years old or older.. might as well wait a little while more before going for a Cataract Removal Op (Phacoemulsification).. the good ol' surgeon will probably insert a well corrected intra ocular lens (a 'contact lens' directly into the eye, where the remaining lens in your eye is). It's as good as LASIK! (well depends..) and it's reversible (as opposed to permanent LASIK changes).

--------For serious readers... Info on LASIK stops here--------

4... OR YOU COULD ALWAYS GET THE LATEST PRODUCT in the MARKET.

INTRODUCING THE LASIK @ HOME SET

Scal-Pal™ Scanning Adjusting Laparascopic Personal Laser

How it works: (Instructions directly from Lasik-at-Home.com)

Four Easy Steps
LASIK@Home couldn't be easier. Just follow these four easy steps and you'll be seeing clearly before you know it!

(images and text from lasikathome.com)

It's really amazing! And very affordable: only going at $99.95!!! - comparable to 1 year supply of (low oxygen) soft disposable content lenses!! Thanks to Dr. Amir Khadim, M.D., Ph.D.!!

About Dr Khadim: A pioneer in the field of LASIK surgery, Dr. Khadim performed more than two thousand LASIK procedures at the prestigious Bennett Eye Care Institute in New York City before leaving to develop LASIK @ Home.

Hehe.. Nice glasses Dr Khadim... (see his pic)

I highly recommend this radical new procedure to all patients who wish to try LASIK more cost effectively. Satisfaction guaranteed!!! (92-98% remember...with cheese)

Testimonials:

My LASIK@Home kit came in the mail just a few days after I ordered it. I was so excited that I used it that same night! My boyfriend helped me do it. It was all done in an hour and I didn’t feel a thing!
- Jennifer Douma, Attorney, Washington, DCFormerly nearsighted -3.25, -4.0 prescription (LASIKATHOME.COM)

Kyle Perry (Michigan State University) wrote at 4:01am on August 21st, 2007
I used the Do-it-yourself LASIK Scap-pal at home... twice... this morning!! It wokrked pevrcletly!!! (Facebook)

Still need convincing?? Click here to Join the Group on Facebook.

Maybe you wanna have a Coffee and Cream Soda while you're at it?

*hint: only one of the above products is a hoax (LASIKatHome vs Coffee Soda)

HIGHLIGHT THE FOLLOWING TEXT TO SEE THE ANSWER:

Yes, you guessed it.. it's the... LASIK @ HOME SET!
Yep.. the Coffee and Cream Soda is UNbelievable but it's a real and legitimate product!! I bought it from Dolphin Asian Supermarket at QV.

How do I know that it's a hoax.. Well.. at least I PRAY THAT IT's a HOAX.. Such a tacky product would definitely disgrace and cheapen the image of Opthalmology and Optometry and I sincerely hope that such a product would NEVER exist... at least in the next 15-20 years.

For those who, upon reading the above article AND truly wanted to buy the product..

DON'T Be a FOOL!!! Firstly, eye care should NEVER be treated as a Cosmetic Health Service.. This includes contact lenses and refractive eye surgery - they should also be treated as medical solutions for a given eye condition (in this case, ametropia).

How Do I know it's a Hoax?

Before I begin, let's revel in the fact that it's a hoax, not a SCAM. So no worries folks, noone is gonna lose real money over this crappy 'product'. But I must admit.. now that I know it's fake, I really begin to admire the work of the hoax-er haha. It's really brilliant, getting in a picture of a 'Dr Khadim' and making the prototype shell of a realistically looking medical device (looks like a tonometer). I hope they sell the T-shirts and Mugs for real hehe..

1. Most importantly: You cant order the set. I tried purchasing the set online but it simply doesnt work! You can't purchase it. They need you to fill in your refractive power before allowing you to buy the product (could be a hidden market survey, conducted to determine what are the most common powers interested in LASIK; so as to focus their marketing on this specific target group of potential customers.)

2. Secondly, the cartoon's really cute! (Dog and all).. LASIK is a surgical procedure and due consideration should be taken before undergoing such a major decision.

3. In the bottom left slide, the sentence *to be reviewed by FDA is a classic! Really funny one.. you don't need to conduct an FDA trial to know that it IS GONNA HURT if your eye is being burnt by excimer lasers... even that weak diazepam is gonna do you no good when your eyes are being burnt. You probably need a good local anasthetic.

4. FDA would NEVER APPROVE of allowing sucha dangerous product into the market.. what if children start running round with lasers in their hands?

5. Dr Khadim wears glasses?!? Well it's true that many ophthalmologists who do LASIK have not undergone the procedure themselves. As surgeons, its VERY important that they manage to maintain the best possible eyesight and the risk outweighs the benefits for them in this case.

6. This hoax is a good thing! It really increases awareness of LASIK..

My take home message to all:

LASIK is all about weighing the risk of eye health complications against potential cosmetic benefits. The risk is low but side effects are real. If you really want to do it, look for a reputable eye surgeon (although it's almost foolproof now, surgery is still.. well, surgeon dependent) and not some cheap over the counter / obscure internet website product.